The Beauty of Wisdom

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July 9, 2013  [Sexual Purity]   Caitlin writes: “Growing up in the church meant that I was well exposed to the idea of sexual purity. It came up more and more often the older I got, especially during middle and high school. I heard many different leaders talk about it; it was discussed in many small groups and Bible studies; I even owned a purity ring and signed the pledge that said I would not have sex until marriage. However, it wasn’t until I was 19 and in my first serious relationship (a relationship that, after more than 2 years, is still one of the biggest blessings in my life) that I really took it upon myself to delve into God’s command and His reasoning behind it.

The most important question to me is why. Why do I need to abstain from sex with my boyfriend? Why did God set marriage as the parameters within which sex is allowed? There are many verses that speak about sexual purity (1 Corinthian 6:18, Hebrews 13:4, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, etc.), and many stress the importance of having self-control of one’s sexual urges and remaining pure for the marriage bed, and that doing so shows obedience and honor to God. In addition, I have found through my own experiences and through continual prayer that it goes even further than that; God wants us to remain abstinent before marriage because He wants our hearts to be protected.

I understand that it could be different for different people; that’s one of the beautiful things about the Lord. He created us all to be so unique and reveals things to us that He knows are meaningful to each individual, so this is just me sharing my revelations.

The first thing I will admit is that sexual purity is not effortless (resisting any kind of sin is rarely effortless!). It takes real dedication and conviction. I pray everyday that the Lord will continually increase my drive to remain pure by continually increasing my conviction about it. The more I understand the immorality of premarital sex, the stronger I am in resisting it. This has been especially imperative to me in college, where “hooking up” is the norm. If I slacken, it could be easy to be swayed by the mindset that sex before marriage is fine; after all, basically everyone does it, right? But the thing is, I have seen more of my friends heart-broken from sex than from anything else.

That has been another huge motivator for me: I am a fiercely loyal person, and I know that sex would create irrevocable ties, and it would not be fair to my future husband if I had ties to another man, no matter how long ago it was or how serious my relationship with that guy was. Also, broken hearts as a result of sin are no fun. It would distract me from God’s joy, and I am pretty certain that I would feel guilty for having sought fulfillment in a man instead of in my Savior. A healthy dating relationship shouldn’t be clouded by guilt from premarital sex. I know I don’t want mine to be, and that thought, too, has helped keep me in check.

Is resisting sex before marriage easy? No. If it was, we wouldn’t have things like purity campaigns or reality shows about teen pregnancy. Is resisting sex before marriage worth it? Absolutely. As much “fun” as my sexually active friends seem to be having, I know that waiting to give myself to my husband one day will be even more fun, as God promises it will be.”

If you have a story about sexual purity, whatever your age, I would love to hear from you. Just email me at kbhaught@godempowered.com, with permission for me to post. Please include a snapshot of you, or you and your boyfriend or husband.  If you prefer to keep your post anonymous I can use a stock photo.

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