Anger to Joy

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 July 24, 2012 [Your Stories] I want to share some amazing things God is doing in my life. My husband and I were having some issues with our marriage, particularly in sex. Saturday morning I was so so so angry because I want my  husband to change, to realize my needs and fulfill them. I couldn’t see how I could make him understand he should care for what I want or need. I was angry about having to change, having to get out of my comfort zone, having to worry about or care for him. I didn’t say anything though, and when he asked me what was wrong I said, “Nothing.”

We went to the park and it was such a beautiful day. I looked at our daughter playing and thought how beautiful, big, and healthy she is and realized my stupidity. I asked God to forgive me for having such a hard and self-centered heart. I thanked Him for my husband and my family and all the ways He has blessed my life with things I hadn’t even considered important, like a family, and I asked Him to help me. Later that night, my husband’s mom called and said she felt like she should pray for us. I felt so loved by God and it was so clear to me I don’t deserve that, I went on my knees and gave thanks to Him.

Then, my husband and I had a conversation like we never had before. I confessed to him so many things, thoughts about him, awful things.He told me how lonely he felt, that he was getting used to being rejected by me in every way you could imagine, and most of the things I confessed to him, he already knew. I resisted the temptation to defend myself and just accepted the truth. It was the most liberating thing that has ever happened to me and at the end we had peace.  It has only been two days since that conversation and something really beautiful is happening between the two of us. A kind of loving feeling I don’t remember to have felt before. Today he emailed me with a sweet love note and stopped by my office to tell me he loved me.

Last night, instead of doing housework, I sat with him in Quiet Companionship and it was amazing. He confessed he had been feeling like breaking the ironing board into pieces LOL. I am so thankful to the Lord, He is so loving. And I also want to thank you because I know God has been working on my heart with your book all this time.



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